


The new neighbor

by antimiya88



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, M/M, Romance, Sexual Tension, Smut, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-09-15 18:17:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16938270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antimiya88/pseuds/antimiya88
Summary: Masaki moves in a new apartment in Tokyo. He's excited about his new start and wants to make a good impression on his neighbors. He has met some but still not the one who lives on the same floor. He doesn't know what to expect but certainly not the strikingly handsome man he meets the next day. Immediately he feels attracted to him. Could it be that he has a chance or is the case lost?





	1. Chapter 1

 

“Ok… This is the last one…” Masaki mumbled under his breath as he placed the box in his new apartment.

 

He was tired but also excited for this new chapter in his life. After having worked for seven years in a small firm in his hometown, Chiba, now, at the age of thirty, had finally got the job of his dreams; responsible of Human Resources in one of the largest companies in the field of alternative sources of energy. Having gone to Osaka for his studies, Tokyo was a new place for him. It seemed huge but thrilling in the same time. He couldn’t wait to explore it and discover his favorite corners in the city.

 

He had chosen a neighborhood that seemed decent and had good transportation. The lack of car made it necessary. His new apartment was big enough for two people and relatively new, western style. That day would be the first time he’d stay there. The basic pieces of furniture had arrived earlier in the week and after two days of trips between Chiba and Tokyo, he could finally settle in.

 

Two hours later, he was placing the last books on his bookshelf and decided to call it a day. It was Sunday and the next day, would be the first day at work. The last thing he wanted was to look tired. He took a quick shower and ate his favorite chahan. A little later than 10 pm, he decided to go to bed. He always loved reading before falling asleep as it helped him relax and extinguish the stress and the fatigue of the day.

 

He was absorbed in the story when suddenly he heard a loud bang from the other side of the corridor, followed by voices. He frowned. _It must be the neighbor…_ he thought. The truth was that he had never lived in a block of flats before and that was something new to him. He thought, and deep inside hoped, that the noises would become lower once the people entered in the other apartment but he was very soon to find out that not only wouldn’t that happen, but on the contrary, the voices would be heard even louder. From what it seemed there was no sound insulation between the two apartments. His neighbor had some kind of party if he judged from the loud music that could be heard in addition to the voices and laughs.

 

Masaki let out a deep sigh, the book having fallen on his lap. It was already late and from what it seemed the party had just started.

 

“I guess… I really am lucky…” he mourned.

 

Discouraged to continue reading, he placed the book on his bedside table and lied on his bed with one pillow over his ear, hoping to be able to fall asleep. There seemed to be no change despite having passed two hours. It was a little after midnight and even if the music wasn’t as loud as before, the noise kept invading Masaki’s room. He was still not be able to sleep and from what it seemed he wouldn’t for a while. He had thought to go and knock his neighbor’s door but the last thing he wanted was to make a bad impression or pass for someone ‘difficult’. It wasn’t that he was someone who’d normally have issues but the timing of this party was the worst. He kept rolling on his bed, trying to find a solution. After a lot of thinking, he decided to settle for his sofa. It was quite large and would fit him with some difficulty. At least, that way, he’d be the furthest from the other apartment and if he closed both the door of his bedroom and the one of his corridor, he was sure it would block the sounds effectively.

 

Sighing, he got out of his bed holding his pillow and sheet and headed to the living room. As he had thought, there it was a lot more peaceful.

 

“Why didn’t I think of it earlier?!” he mumbled before he abandoned himself to the abyss of sleep.

 

\---

 

The morning welcomed him with two huge dark cycles under his eyes, proof of his lack of sleep. He didn’t like what he was seeing but couldn’t do much about it either. “Lucky women can camouflage everything with a bit of make up while men can do nothing…” he grumbled as he entered in the shower.

 

The hot water refreshed him and gave him the energy he needed. He prepared himself a toast and a large cup of coffee. Ten minutes later, he was dressed, having prepared all the papers he needed for work. At 7:30, he was already locking the door of his apartment. He was waiting for the elevator to reach his floor and we saw the opposite door opening, revealing three young men. They were talking quite loud, Masaki recognizing some of the voices from the previous night. They were wearing clothes that were meant for a night out, clubbing and partying; definitely not for an early working morning.

 

The moment they caught his presence they hushed for a second, as if they realized that there was a person living in the apartment across the corridor. After that first shock, the silence turned into whispers.

 

“Good morning,” the tallest guy said with a polite smile once they reached the elevator. “You live at the other apartment?”

 

Masaki smiled in return. “Good morning. Yes. I just moved in.”

 

“Ah… We didn’t know… I mean… Jun told us nothing. We wouldn’t be this loud, because I’m sure we were. It was a special occasion but that isn’t really an excuse. Sorry.”

 

“No, it’s ok. People have the right to have a party from time to time. Don’t worry.”

 

The elevator arrived and Masaki entered in the cubicle last, feeling a little uneasy. Contrary to the guy who had talked to him, the other two, both quite small-figured and thin, that made them look much younger than they probably were, seemed lost in their world. The taller one from the two was literally all over the other, holding him between his arms, not caring what people would say. It wasn’t that Masaki was against gay people. How could he when he was actually one of them? But he would have never dared to be this expressive in public. His parents had no problem with it but the town was small, everyone knew everyone, and the last thing he wanted was to cause problems to his family. He knew how people could be. He only had one serious relationship in the past and had always been discreet. Here though was Tokyo… Maybe things were different. That though was not all, as he pressed the number 0, he would swear, even with his back on them, that he was being stared at; intensively, from head to toe.

 

“So much of J’s taste, don’t you think?”

 

The question was spoken in a whisper but Masaki had heard it and was pretty sure it was meant for him. He cleared his throat, starting to feel awkwardly, tightening his grip on his leather bag as a reflex.

 

“Nino!” the warning came from the taller man that had spoken to him earlier.

 

“What?! Don’t you agree, Sho-kun?” this Nino continued on the same tone. “How about you, Oh-chan?”

 

“He always goes for the model-like ones.”

 

“My point! Tall, thin, nice facial features… The must combination!”

 

“And lips…” the other added, causing Nino to chuckle.

 

“As expected from my Oh-chan! How could I forget J’s fetish?! Ah… this will be fun…”

 

Masaki could hear Sho ticking his tongue annoyed by his friends’ behavior but said nothing more, probably not wanting to bring him in a more difficult position. Everything was spoken in a whisper. Nino must have been whispering everything close to Oh-chan’s ear, whoever this Oh-chan was, but loud enough for Masaki to hear. After all this, along with the burning stare he could feel, he was a 100% sure, the other were indeed talking about him. He could feel his cheeks grow hotter. He wasn’t used to being the receiver of such comments and that made him rather uncomfortable. The moment the doors opened, he mumbled ‘have a nice day’ and walked as fast as he could, knowing that the bus could pass in any minute now.

 

Ten minutes later, he was already heading towards Minato, sitting at the back of the bus by the window. All he could think of was that Nino’s words… Thanks to this small-figured man, he had been able to learn some things about his neighbor. If he judged from his friends’ age, he should also be around his age, plus he was into men. Masaki found himself wondering how the other would look like. Would he be handsome? Would he have strong features? Would his voice be deep?

 

He gulped with difficulty, remembering how Nino was sure he would be perfect for his friend. To his surprise, Masaki could feel his heart beating faster. He shook his head to get rid of any strange ideas. “Ok… Now, that’s strange, Masaki. You haven’t met him, you have no idea how he looks, and you certainly don’t meet his type, even if he’s perfect.” The third guy had spoken of model-like men. He wasn’t such and he knew it. Besides, most probably, this Nino guy could simply make fun… he looked like that kind of guy anyway.

 

_It’s probably because you’ve been stuck in the desert for too long that makes you be this shaken over some random guy’s comment…_ he thought trying to reason himself.

“You have way more important things to worry about than your new neighbor, Masaki!”

 

It was 7:50 when he got out of the bus. He could see his new company’s building at the corner. It was imposing, nothing like the firm of six floors he used to work back in Chiba. He paused for a second to take a deep breath. “You can do it!” he mumbled to himself and with that walked confidently. It was the chance he had been waiting for and now, that it was right in front of him, he would make sure to exploit it to the maximum. Yes. He could do it.

 

\---

 

It was almost seven in the evening when he arrived back at home after a quick stop by the grocery store. He was tired, since it had been a new environment and demanding from the very beginning but was worth it. He had been able to survive with no mistakes of great importance.

 

He was waiting for the elevator. Once the doors opened, Masaki lifted his head, gasping when he came across with a young man of his height; an extremely _handsome_ young man of his height. He noticed the moles that the other had on his face, two of them too close to his lips that turned his throat dry. He was wearing stylish clothes, a bit eccentric for Masaki’s taste, but maybe it was what made the impact even bigger. If Masaki judged correctly, the other must be around his age. After several seconds – at least he hoped it was seconds – he managed to smile, praying not to have been taken for some kind of weirdo.

 

“Good evening!” he said cheerfully just to get nothing back as a reply.

 

The only response was the way the other looked at him, his eyes, slightly narrowed, scanning him from head to toe, with his eyebrow lifted. This one was the second time that this happened to him in the same day but this time strangely he didn’t feel awkward. Embarrassed yes; but also… somehow… excited? Maybe it was the fact that it was this particular pair of eyes that were locked on him; beautiful and strong. Did the other looked at him approvingly? Critisizingly? Or only out of pure question? Masaki couldn’t tell. He could read nothing behind that exploring gaze of the other. He followed him with his eyes as the latter walked towards the main entrance door. It was only when he heard the characteristic sound of the elevator doors closing that he teared his gaze apart.

 

_So handsome…_

 

Was his neighbor as handsome as this one? The question popped up in his head as he was opening his apartment door. He entered inside sighing. Just one glance at a handsome man and there he was, daydreaming.

 

“Wake up, Masaki!” he warned himself as he took his shoes off. “Wake up!”

 

After a quick shower that he needed to get rid of the sweat and tiredness, he prepared dinner and chose to watch TV while having it. He was used to eating with his family, not alone, so TV could pass for a company. On the small table in front of him, there was a small box of handmade sweets. The previous day, early in the afternoon, he had already given some to the building administrator, the family and the old lady of the floor below his as well as the couple that lived right above him, as a way to present himself. He hated the anonymity that seemed to be the rule in larger cities, such as Tokyo. He’d also knocked on the door of the apartment across the corridor but there was no answer. That evening, he hoped he’d have the chance to meet him. He was trying to convince himself that he had no other motive… only to give him the sweets before they lost their freshness, but deep inside he knew it wasn’t the only reason. He was curious… He wanted to see who this man was.

 

Almost an hour later, he heard the door across the corridor opening and closing. There was no doubt about it. His neighbor was in his apartment. Masaki waited for about thirty minutes more, before he took the small box in hands. He was wearing a pair of jeans and one of his favorite fluffy sweaters. He got out of his apartment and walked to the other door.

 

“So, the J was for Jun…” he mumbled as he read the name above the bell.

 

After having taken a deep breath, he rang it. No answer. He waited for a couple of minutes before ringing it once more.

 

He was about to ring it one last time when he heard a voice from the other side. “ _Who’s this?_ ”

 

“Uhm… excuse me… My name is Aiba Masaki. I’m your new neighbor. I live at the apartment across yours.”

 

The door opened revealing no one else but the very same, very handsome, man, Masaki had met earlier.

 

“And?” the other asked with a frown.

 

Masaki could only gasp. The other was wearing a pair of skinny blue jeans and a black V-neck top, that fell loosely on him, along with a pair of glasses. His look this time was simple, domestic, but the same stunning to Masaki’s eyes.

 

“Ah!” Masaki exclaimed and smiled nervously once he realized he must be staring. He showed him the box of sweets. “Here, you could have one! As a thank you for having me here!” he kept mumbling things, faster than usual, but then again, talking to such hot guys wasn’t usual anyway. “They’re homemade!” he used his best smile. The other, obviously a little perplexed with his presence at his door, cleared his throat and after some thought, took one. “My name is Aiba Masaki. Nice to meet you!” Masaki hurried to add at the end, his heart beating faster with every second passing by.

 

The man looked at him with the same exploring gaze he had when they had met at the elevator before he spoke in a rather neutral and slightly distant tone. “Matsumoto Jun. Have a nice evening.” With those two laconic phrases, the door was closed right in front of Masaki’s face. No smile. No thank you. No welcome.

 

Masaki sighed, his head hanging low. One thing was sure. The other didn’t want much to do with him or probably any of his neighbors and Masaki would lie if he said it didn’t bother him.

 

That night, when he went to bed, there was no sound coming from the other apartment, but still he couldn’t sleep. He remembered the words of Matsumoto Jun’s friend… Matsumoto Jun’s attitude earlier… His heart clenched painfully for a second. He would have liked to believe that this Nino had been right… but from what it seemed it wasn’t but teasing.

 

He pressed his eyes closed in an attempt to fall asleep. After a while he managed to do it but once again the only thing he could see was his new neighbor’s face… those eyes staring at him intensively…

 

This wasn’t a good sign for him… not a good sign at all.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The end of one of the most tiring weeks Jun had ever experienced had finally come to its end. It was Saturday around 2 in the morning, when he was finally reaching his floor. Earlier, Nino had invited him to go to their usual spot for drinks along with the others but he had refused. He almost never said no to a night at the bar. He enjoyed listening to music, drinking, flirting and usually ending up at the dark corridor that led to the toilets at the back with the sexy guy he had picked for the night thrown against the wall whimpering and asking for more. It was quick and fun, it caused him no problems and above all, it required no commitment. Sometimes, he had flings but nothing important.

 

He had other priorities than being in a relationship at that phase of his life, or at least that was what he was answering when his friends -Nino and of course, his _precious_ Oh-chan- called him a forever teen. At the age of twenty-nine, he still liked this lifestyle. He was someone who enjoyed his freedom, cared a lot about his career combined with the fact that he was a difficult person to deal with. It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried it in the past. He had once just to realize he wasn’t meant for such a type of bonding with another person. He had felt suffocated, always having to deal with questions such as ‘where have you been?’ ‘why didn’t you answer your phone?’ or ‘why did you stare at the barman’s ass?’. His spirit was too free to be able to stay at one place… He wasn’t a bad guy… It was just who he was and he was ok with it. That night though as tempting as the idea was, he was too tired for anything else than a quick shower and his soft bed.

 

“Luckily it’s Saturday… I’ll sleep as long as I want!” he mumbled sleepily the moment he entered his apartment… or at least, so he thought…

 

\---

 

Jun frowned in his sleep. Something loud was heard… something really similar to a… drill? He opened his eyes and yes; there was no doubt about it. Angry, he sat up and took his alarm clock to check what time it was. A little after 8 am. “What the hell?” he growled under his breath. He wore his glasses and dragged his feet to the window to see if there was a problem outside down the street. Nothing.

 

“You want to tell me that it comes from an apartment?” he growled angrily behind his teeth as he opened his apartment door in an attempt to localize the source. There was no way he could accept this so early in the morning. Especially when he had only slept for a couple of hours. “It’s Saturday for fuck’s sake!”

 

From the moment he stepped out of his apartment he could immediately tell who was causing all this mess so early in the morning. It was the new guy; the new _cute_ guy his mind reminded him just to make him clear his throat suddenly uncomfortable with his own thoughts. “Cute or not, he’s annoying,” he mumbled to himself, as he walked towards the other’s door.

 

He rang the bell not caring how he looked at the moment. Normally he would, but this time, he was sleepless, he was woken up in the cruelest way, without the time loll for an hour in his bed and most importantly he still hadn’t drunk his first sip of coffee. After a few seconds, the door opened revealing the young man that his mind insisted on characterizing as cute. This time the other was wearing a rather old, baggy T-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. Some would call these clothes unflattering… and they _were_ … but even in these, Jun had to admit that he looked stunning. So stunning that no matter how much he tried to control himself and not scan the man in front of him from head to toe, he did it… _again_.

 

“Matsumoto-san? Uhm… did I… by any chance… wake you up?”

 

_What do you think, smartass?_ was what Jun wanted to answer but for some reason didn’t. Maybe it was the little frown that had formed on the other’s forehead or maybe it was the tiny voice in which he had spoken… the result is that he couldn’t call him all the names he had thought of from the moment he opened his eyes.

 

“The truth is that my work schedule is a bit different to that of the majority and last night, I came back super lat-”

 

He didn’t have the chance to finish. “Oh! I’m so sorry! I really am!” This time the frown turned bigger and the voice louder, almost shrieky. “I wouldn’t do such a loud work this early but the thing is that I need to place a couple of shelves and since every day I come back pretty late, the only time that I could do them out of the quiet hours was this morning. I need to go to the office later you see. Most of the times I work on Saturdays, too.”

 

Under any other circumstances, Jun would continue but seeing the other looking worried and sounding so apologetic, made him hush.

 

“I only have a last one!” his neighbor hurried to add. “It’s kind of causing me problem because the wall at that part is a bit uneven but-”

 

“Would you like some help?” Jun asked before he even realized what he had just proposed.

 

“I… You… mean it?” the other asked with a large smile that made his whole face glow. “But… uhm… It’s kind of you but I’ll manage it. I wouldn’t want to-”

 

“I offered my help myself. Besides, that way the sound will stop earlier, so it’s a win-win situation!” Jun replied with a small smile which again hadn’t notice.

 

“Then, please, come in.” Jun followed the man inside. “It’s a bit messy… sorry for that… I still haven’t managed to make it look decent…” the other hurried to tell him, as if Jun would judge him.

 

“Don’t worry. I’m sure it wasn’t in your plans to expect visitors such early in the morning!” Jun replied, the small smile insisting on being written on his face. 

 

They went to the living room where Jun saw the shelves. “So, that’s the one?” he asked pointing at the one on the floor.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Alright. Let’s get to work!”

 

Ten minutes later, the work had been done.

 

“It really means a lot. Thank you, Matsumoto-san.”

 

“No big deal. Really.” Jun replied while keeping his eyes on the shelf. He could feel that the other was watching him while thanking him but for some reason felt the need to avoid his gaze. He put his hands into his sweatpants pockets, trying to play it indifferent. He couldn’t figure out exactly why he felt that need, he usually was cool without having to try but nothing really made sense that morning. So, he tried to push away all the questions that threatened to fill up his mind.

 

“Please, allow me to offer you some coffee, at least!”

 

“I wouldn’t-”

 

“As a thank you and an apology… for waking you up?”

 

Jun turned his gaze to the man who was watching him with agony. “Alright,” he mumbled after giving it some thought. Maybe the other felt the need to apologize.

 

Two minutes later, he was sitting on one of the stools the other had in front of the kitchen counter, watching him preparing the coffee with the very same smile when it hit him out of the blue. One. He wasn’t feeling annoyed or angry despite having been awaken the way he had that morning; on the contrary he _had_ offered his help. Two. He had been smiling the whole time. And all of that without even having drunk his morning coffee. _What. The. Hell?!_

“Here!”

 

Jun looked up seeing the young man standing in front of him, handing him a cup of hot coffee. “Th… thank you…, uhm…”

 

“Aiba. Aiba Masaki.”

 

Jun cleared his throat awkwardly. He had been caught. “I… don’t remember easily people’s names. Sorry.”

 

The other smiled. “Don’t worry, I understand. Our minds absorb such large amounts of information every day. It’s only logical.”

 

“Yes…” Jun whispered and sipped some more of his coffee.

 

The next twenty minutes passed in total silence. A few times, Jun tried to speak, say something but couldn’t come up with anything, so he gave up.

 

“It was delicious. Thank you,” he whispered as he let his empty cup on the kitchen counter.

 

“You’re welcome. It was really kind of you to help me, Matsumoto-san. And once again, I’m sorry for having woken you up like that. From now on, I promise no such surprises!”

 

“It’s ok…. Have a nice day, Aiba-san,” Jun said as he came closer to the door.

 

“You too, Matsumoto-san.”  

 

Jun walked out of Aiba Masaki’s apartment and headed to his. He closed the door and leaned against it. Closing firmly his eyes, he took a deep breath. All he could think of was how the other was smiling widely the whole time; how his face was covered by a fade shade of redness due to the work he had been doing…

 

The only thing he could feel was his ears buzzing and his heartbeat beating fast… faster than he would like. As much as he had tried to convince himself for the opposite, there was no doubt the other had an immediate effect on him.

 

From the very first time he had bumped into him at the elevator. He had checked him out… his eyes trying to memorize every single part of the tall, slim man. It was the first time he was doing that so openly, at least, outside of a night club. And then it was that smile… that wide smile that was in such a contrast to the pure sexiness Jun had seen… He allowed his mind to wander back to the scene, replaying it behind his closed eyelids. It was so obvious that the other was unaware of it… well… he probably _was_ unaware. He had looked rather embarrassed… He was a salary man after all. To Jun’s eyes, such people lived their life boringly, having everything planned, placed in small boxes within their minds, with no thrill, no excitement, no surprises… If there was something he detested, that was this type of safety.

He sighed. _Why does he have to be so hot yet so… normal?_

 

His mind then traveled back to the second time he had met, his new _neighbor_ , when the latter was standing right in front of his doorstep. Aiba Masaki wasn’t wearing his suit but a pair of jeans and a pullover; nothing really special, that was true… yet… as Jun’s eyes moved all over him, he couldn’t help noticing the way the skinny jeans accentuated his long, thin legs… It was the reason why the moment he had been offered the sweet, he had closed the door as fast as possible. The last thing he’d needed to see was how the other’s ass looked in that hell of jeans. Now, he could finally accept it… He hadn’t paid much attention to the other… he hadn’t caught what he was saying to him. And that was because he had to try his hardest to play it cool… just like earlier when he was in his apartment.

 

Yet even now all he could think of was those legs… and how they would look without that pair of jeans… just like that husky voice of his… How huskier could it sound under other circumstances? And that faint blush, the other had as he offered him the sweet… Jun could only wonder how heavier it would turn if he was the one in control… if the other was underneath him writhing in pleasure completely in his mercy… and then there was that smile… making the man look even more beautiful than he already was, making him irresistible…

 

Jun bit his lower lip as he remembered that droplet of sweat his eyes had caught falling down the side of neck earlier that morning while the other was holding the shelf. How would that covered-in-sweat skin feel under his touch? How would it…? Abruptly, he opened his eyes. He looked down, noticing the small bulge that had formed on his crotch before he turned his gaze blankly to the wall in front of him. With a low groan he jumped into the shower and opened the water to a relatively cold temperature. Since when did he get this aroused only by fantasizing things? And since when was he fantasizing in the first place?!

 

“It’s because I haven’t had any lately…” he whispered as he applied a small portion of shampoo on his hair. “Yes… that’s what it is…”

 

Deep inside he knew he hadn’t convinced himself, yet he pretended he had. It was better this way.

 

“I just need to avoid him…” he mumbled as he switched off the lamp on his bedside table, ready to sleep, a few hours later.

 

At least he hoped so…

 

***

 

It had been two weeks since Jun had last seen his new neighbor. _Aiba Masaki…_ Certainly, he couldn’t forget the name anymore. His standards had always been a bit too strict, never settling for something less than the best, and he knew it; even when it came to his usual one-night stands, he’d be picky. To think about someone more than during those few moments of pure lust, motivated from physical needs, required more… much more… Yet despite that, this man had somehow been stuck into his mind. He’d pop into his mind every time he heard the elevator doors opening on his floor. Jun had caught himself wonder how the other passed his free time… if he enjoyed cooking, shopping… who this Aiba Masaki really was. He wasn’t curious by nature, unlike his best friend, but this man was intriguing him. He somehow wanted to discover the man behind that polite tone and wide smile but in the same time was afraid to…

 

He had caught how the other had eyed him when he had brought him sweets, the same way the salary man had also done that when they had met that first time at the elevator. He was playing in his team, that was certain, and what is more wasn’t left unaffected by him… Jun could tell that the other liked him… at least, his body revealed as much. Instead of flirting or in a way being provocative towards him, though, Aiba Masaki never tried to be sexy. It was obvious that the man was oblivious to his looks and the affection they could have on others.

 

Perhaps it was what made him look even sexier in Jun’s eyes. There was an innocence flowing out of him strong enough to be provocative to Jun. It was what made him think about Aiba Masaki over and over again and why he hoped not to come across the other. If they met again, Jun was sure he wouldn’t control himself… he would hit on the other man and if he played his cards right, there was no way out of the trap for his neighbor.

 

What he was afraid of was the situation itself. The main problem though was that the other wasn’t someone who’d like that. This innocence of his told Jun so. He could swear that Aiba Masaki wasn’t someone to indulge himself in one-night stands. His bright smile made him too open for something like that. A one-night stand required a mutual silent agreement of anonymity, of closeness. There was nothing a means of relief… physical relief both parties needed. Jun wouldn’t meet them again or even if he did, he was sure neither of them would remember it thanks to the alcohol. So, everything was good. On the contrary, this specific man wasn’t a random someone he met at the bar and chose to hit on. He wasn’t nameless either. At some point, he’d be obliged to meet him again… they were neighbors after all… inevitably they’d come tête à tête and _that_ would be awkward for both of them.

 

Jun picked up his phone.

 

To: **Sho**

Free for lunch? My treat.

I can pass by your office before

I go to the studios.

 

Jun had to chuckle when the reply came the next second.

 

From: **Sho**

Can’t refuse a food offer.

Everything ok?

 

Jun sighed. Of course, Sho would tell there was a reason behind.

_This man…_

To: **Sho**

Just bored…

 

From: **Sho**

I don’t believe you but I’m not Nino

to force it out of you!

I’ll be waiting!

 

To: **Sho**

Me or the bento I’ll be bringing with me?

 

From: **Sho**

Both.

 

Jun chuckled, knowing his friend was trying to cheer him up even if he didn’t know what exactly was the reason for this sudden self-invitation.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Jun was leaving his apartment. His gaze fell on the dark wooden door across the corridor. _You want to avoid him not because it will be awkward but because you believe he’ll be hurt… and you don’t want to see that smile disappear…_ Frowning at his own thoughts, hurried to press the elevator button. He needed to get some fresh air.

 

\---

 

“Mmmm…”

 

Jun looked up at his friend with a raised eyebrow. “Do you really have to make sex sounds while you’re eating, Sakurai?!”

 

The other froze almost choking because of the large amount of food he had put in his mouth.

 

Jun shook his head sighing.

 

“Sorry… It’s just that…” the other started saying once he had swallowed only to be cut off.

 

“you enjoy food… I know…” Jun whispered and sighed.

 

“What’s going on, Jun?” This time Sho’s voice sounded serious.

 

Jun closed his eyes for a second before he placed his bento on his friend’s desk. “Do you… do you think I could ever be serious?” he whispered, avoiding to meet his friend’s gaze.

 

“You _are_ serious.”

 

“In my personal life I mean…”

 

Jun could tell his friend was looking him closely.

 

“Why do you even doubt it, Jun?”

 

“Because I’m behaving like a teen… to use our dearest Nino’s words…”

 

“You’re a free man and can have as much fun as you want. The reason why you choose your freedom over commitment I think it’s related to your need of control. It’s a part of yourself… you wouldn’t be _you_ without it…”

 

“So, you’re calling me a control freak!” Jun threw a narrowed gaze to Sho, his hands folded in front of his chest.

 

Sho chuckled. “You need to feel free… to be you the one who puts the limits for yourself. You’re someone who needs to take all his decisions. But this doesn’t mean you aren’t serious… Probably you’re a bit too serious… If a special someone appears, believe me, you’ll know it… even if your mind denies it for a certain period of time, your heart will, and then at some point, voluntarily, you’ll want to change these limits you’ve set yourself so that this someone is also included. What you need is to take the risk… You always say that you hate people who live their lives trapped in their comfort zone… When the time comes, you’ll have to become the live proof of your own words!”

 

Jun cleared his throat as he checked his watch. “Well, it’s time for me to go. I hope you don’t expect anything else than this bento for your mini psychoanalysis, _Dr. Sakurai_?”

 

Sho chuckled. “Oh no… it was a free offer, don’t worry!”

 

“We’ll talk!”

 

“See ya!”

 

Jun closed the door of Sho’s office. He could tell that his friend knew he had someone specific in mind when he told him all of that… The truth was that Jun loved his freedom… loved to live every minute of his life the way he wanted… and that couldn’t be with someone else…

 

“Even if I tried, I’d screw up… That… I know…”

 

***

 

It was Thursday, around noon when Jun got informed that he was free that evening. After giving it some thought, he decided to visit the gym that was nearby. It would be beneficial both for his body and mind. He had way too much energy that needed to be released. Nino mocked him that he hadn’t been laid and that made him more uptight than usual but he couldn’t. He had tried to hook up in clubs a couple of times but every time things advanced a bit, his mind would fill up with the image of Aiba Masaki fixing his shelf, causing him to stop.

 

Since last year he had started kick-boxing. It was a profitable way to release tension and anger, and at the same time, train his muscles in a different way. Once he reached the gym, he left his personal belongings to the locker room and headed to the -1 level where there were the rooms for kick boxing and TRX training. An hour later, he was already feeling more relaxed and his mind clearer. He decided to stop, he shouldn’t overtire his muscles, he wouldn’t be able to cope the next day at work. As he took off his gloves off, he threw a quick glance at the room next to the one he was up at this hour. Inside there was a group of four people in the middle of their TRX session. He wouldn’t have paid attention if it wasn’t for the one who at the moment was doing a set of abdominal exercises. His legs stopped, his eyes goggled. He had caught a familiar figure with the corner of his eye.

 

“Aiba Masaki…” he whispered, still finding it hard to believe that the one who had been occupying his mind was in the same gym as him.

 

The sound of a whistle was heard and immediately the group changed places, Aiba Masaki going for the suspension straps. Jun was left with his mouth agape as he noticed how the other was covered in sweat, making his white T-shirt be stuck on his body like a second skin. It was that moment that Jun noticed the well-sculpted abs. The other looked super skinny but he was toned… very toned…

 

“Damn you… couldn’t you be any sexier?!”

 

He could feel getting hotter and it wasn’t due to the training. Clearing his throat, he headed to the showers, occupying the last booth. He let the water fall on him cold. He needed it. Since when did he have a reaction just from the sight of someone?! _I guess I do need to get laid…_ he thought as he washed his hair. He was almost done when he heard water falling from the booth next to him. Two minutes later he had covered his lower part with a towel, ready to step out.

 

“Damn, that’s cold!” the man who had just entered in the shower booth next to him, yelled.

 

Jun felt his heartbeat raising. That voice was husky… and way too familiar. He took a deep breath as he put on his flip flops, holding his shampoo in hand. He would never look at other men in the shower; he wasn’t fifteen anymore… but this time, his head turned despite his tries not to. It was above his will. The sight that unveiled in front of him was breathtaking. Luckily, the other had his back on him… but that allowed him to watch and admire… Aiba Masaki was looking deliciously good… thin, firm, with soft skin -at least, Jun thought it would be soft- and with a fire-like huge birthmark on his left shoulder.

 

Jun felt his throat getting dry as disturbingly hot images filled his mind… his teeth burying on that skin, allowing his mouth to taste, tease, mark… his fingers to feel… his ears to hear the breathy, lustful moans of the other as he was making him his… while the water was falling on top of them… absorbing the sounds of skin slapping against skin… the fog caused by the steams of the hot water adding to the one of pleasure he was creating by the force of his thrusts deep into the… Suddenly the door opened, making Jun realize he had been standing there, in the middle of the gym showers, staring a man’s body like a creepy stalker and fantasizing about the other to the point that a half-erection had appeared in between his legs.

 

_DAMN!_ he cursed inside and hurried to leave the shower room before he would get noticed.

 

The realization thankfully had an immediate impact on his manhood, softening it in a blink of the eye. In less than ten minutes, Jun was already walking back home. Under any other circumstances, he’d have waited outside the gym to talk… make his move… but this time he was afraid… afraid of himself. Sho had told him he’d have to escape from his comfort zone… but it was above his strength. Aiba Masaki was someone he had come to know for a couple of weeks… with whom he had passed only half an hour… There was no way he could feel something else than pure lust… his thoughts earlier were the proof… _right_?

 

He entered into his apartment and fell on the sofa, his eyes staring blankly at some blind spit on the ceiling. There was only one word that kept replaying in his mind.

 

_DAMN!_

 

***

 

“Your feet, Kisaki-kun, must be stronger at two. Don’t lose your focus! I want to see the passion in you! C’mon! One and two, three, four five aaand six!”

 

Jun kept clapping his hands in rhythm as loud music filled the dance studio. He knew he was pushing the dancers to their limits but that was the only way to know who were determined to take the chance that was opening up for them. The auditions were always the most difficult part. He never wished to be unfair and always paid attention to the slightest details. It had been one month that he had been chosen as the main choreographer by one of the biggest stars of the Japanese pop scene. It was a recognition of his hard work. From the difficult years he had spent in New York, living in a 25m2 apartment with other two aspiring dancers and working part-time both as a pizza delivery boy and a dancer in a small club, to his return in Japan and working as dancing instructor in a local dance school. He hadn’t been ungrateful; he was still doing what he liked. Dance had always been his way to express himself, and now being a choreographer, he was finally able to show people his point of view.

 

The turning point in his career had been the YouTube channel Nino’d convinced him to open. In less than half a year, he had managed to get an important number of followers and even gain a bonus amount of money. It had also been the reason for being contacted by the AllStar Agency.

 

The music ended allowing the heavy breaths to fill the air. Jun, sighing, went to press the stop on the CD player and announced a thirty-minute break.

 

“Always so strict! I pity the poor guys!”

 

Jun turned at the source of sound with his eyebrow raised. “First. What are you doing here? And two. How the hell did you get in?”

 

His friend came closer with an evil smile on his face. “How could I _not_ be here? I’m your _manager_ after all!”

 

Jun couldn’t believe his ears. “What are you…?!” he couldn’t finish his question; not when he was holding an actual card with this exact piece of information. “Are you kidding me? You want to cause me trouble?”

 

“Relax! I only showed it to the guy at the entrance. I didn’t introduce myself to anyone else like that! I just had to see Mr. MJ in action!”

 

Jun raised his eyebrow. “Why I don’t believe you?!”

 

“Ok… Busted… But seeing you in action is a bonus!”

 

“Nino. Hurry up and spill it already.”

 

“You know it’s my baby’s birthday coming up!”

 

“Yeah…?” Jun replied sounding unsure. The other had something in mind…

 

“I want to organize him a surprise party!”

 

Jun was getting annoyed. He had caught that glimpse in his friend’s eyes and that never meant good. “To the point, Ninomiya!”

 

“I want to do it in your place!”

 

“What?”

 

“Your apartment is bigger than mine or Oh-chan’s!”

 

“You have no other friends than me and Sho! I’m pretty sure there’s enough space for everyone!”

 

“But I’m interested in making new ones!” Nino replied with a cheeky smile, as he came closer to Jun. “And I’m sure you share this idea with me!”

 

Jun cleared his throat. “I’m perfectly fine the way I-”

 

“Don’t worry. I only intend to invite one more. Someone’s new neighbor! Now, be a good boy, Junny, and give me your keys. I have things to prepare.”

 

Jun was left frozen at his spot. Not only was Nino organizing a party at his apartment, but was also inviting Aiba Masaki. He was about to speak when Nino leaned close enough to whisper in his ear. “You can thank me later.”

 

One thing was certain. Jun was deep in trouble.

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Masaki was about to leave his apartment when his eyes fell on the small note he had left on the small table by the entrance. He had found it last night half placed under his door.

 

**Tomorrow evening at 10pm I organize a small**

**party for my friend’s birthday in my apartment!**

**If free, I’d be happy to see you there, too!**

**Your neighbor,**

**Matsumoto Jun**

 

Masaki still remembered how his heart rate had accelerated the moment he picked the note up. After those hours they had passed together when the other had offered to help despite having woken up rather violently, Masaki hadn’t heard of his neighbor. He had even started going to the gym in hope of seeing him, after he had heard that friend of his, Nino, talking about it but no luck. He had started thinking that the other may even avoid him and that he was the reason for it but from the small note he was looking at, it seemed that wasn’t the case.

 

A faint smile appeared on his face as he opened the door. He had decided to go to buy a good bottle of sake as a present. He had put on a pair of black sweatpants matched with a black comfy jacket and a pair of running shoes. He was too tired to even consider putting on something better.

 

He had just pressed the elevator button when he heard the door on his left opening. _It’s him…_

They looked at each other both freezing at each other’s presence. Seconds later there was a small beep sound heard. The elevator doors had closed and when Masaki checked he realized someone else had already taken it.

 

“It seems you lost it…” suddenly the other said in a low voice.

 

Masaki gulped when he realized how close this voice sounded to him. His neighbor was standing right next to him, their arms almost touching. He could smell a faint touch of a cologne? After shave balsam? Whatever it was, it smelled good. Or it seemed so because it was Matsumoto Jun the one wearing it.

 

“It’s ok…” he managed to mumble, “I’m not in a hurry.”

 

“Jogging?”

 

Masaki blinked, confused for several seconds. He then took a closer look at the other, realizing that he also was dressed in sport clothes. “You?”

 

“I decided to run a bit around the neighborhood.”

 

“Me too!” Masaki hurried to reply not even knowing for sure why he had said that.

 

“You like jogging?” the other asked rather surprised.

 

“It… helps clearing up your mind… doesn’t it?”

 

“Yes… it does…” To Masaki’s surprise his neighbor had sounded as hesitant as he had been. Could it be that the other was also nervous?

 

He gulped again. He usually wasn’t the brave kind of guy but he did have an invitation in his hands, didn’t he? “Would you… like to go together this evening?” he asked as he pressed the elevator button once again. “Since we met?”

 

“Sure… Why not?”

 

Masaki limited himself to only a shy smile. His heart was thumping inside… Finally, he’d pass some time with his neighbor. He felt lucky. Half an hour later though his feelings had turned into mixed. He could have never guessed when the other had talked of jogging that he meant running until you’re out of breath. Masaki was panting, breathing heavily and sweating like crazy. He tried his best to keep up with the other but when he felt a sharp pain at the right side of his lower belly, he inevitably had to stop.

 

He leaned against the wall, pressing his hand on the point of pain. It was a few meters away that the other realized Masaki wasn’t following.

 

“Sorry… I… didn’t…” Masaki whispered with difficulty just to be cut off by Jun.

 

“Don’t apologize! Please! I’ll go and get you some water!”

 

Before Masaki could even speak, he saw him heading to the small konbini that was at the corner. Five minutes later, he was coming back holding a small bottle of water.

 

“I’m used to running fast… Didn’t realize I was putting so much pressure on you…”

 

“No… It wasn’t that fast…” Masaki said once he had drunk some of the water. “It’s just that… I usually… advance progressively…”

 

“I’m sor-”

 

“Please, don’t apologize! It was me who miscalculated my power! I’m already feeling better now! Don’t worry!” Masaki replied with a smile before handing the bottle to Jun. “Here. Drink that. I’m ok!”

 

The other seemed to hesitate for a second before he took it and drank the rest of the water.

 

They started walking back to the apartment. Masaki didn’t know what to say… Why did he always have to be this awkward when he was with someone he liked?! The silence was becoming unbearable and that was making him even more nervous.

 

It was only once they reached their floor that he found the courage to thank Jun for the invitation to the party. To his surprise, the other seemed confused.

 

“In…vitation?” Jun asked with a light frown appearing on his forehead.

 

Hearing that, it was Masaki’s turn to frown. “Didn’t you leave a small note under my door two days ago inviting me to the party you’re organizing for your friend’s birthday?”

 

“Ah! _That_ invitation? Yes! Yes! I… just… wanted to be discreet…”

 

Masaki smiled relaxing a bit. “I will be there, Jun,” he said with a smile, hoping the other would notice how much he appreciated this gesture of his and how much he wanted to be at that party. “Have a nice rest of the evening!”

 

“You, too…” were the only words whispered by the other before entering in his apartment.

 

Masaki leaned against his door as he closed it behind him. He took in a deep breath before exhaling. The other had blushed a bit when he had admitted he had left the note… or was it just his imagination?

 

He bit his lower lip nervously. Well… the only sure thing was that the atmosphere always seemed kind of heavy when they were together.

 

“I guess tomorrow, it’s my chance to see if I’m imagining things or I really have a chance with him…” he whispered to himself and headed to the shower.

 

He had to sleep early and make sure he looked great. The next day was _the_ day.

 

***

 

It was the day of the party and Masaki was standing for two hours in front of his mirror putting on different clothes but nothing could satisfy him.

 

“I need to look… cool…” he mumbled to himself sounding disappointed. “He always looks cool. I need to attract his attention.”

 

He picked up another shirt but nothing looked good enough in his eyes. He kept on for another hour but was still at zero point. He sighed throwing the clothes back in the closet in a messy pile. After lots of thinking he decided to go for shopping.

 

“I need to buy that bottle of sake anyway…” he whispered as he closed his apartment door, mostly to convince himself.

 

An hour later, he had arrived at the mall, checking out the different storefronts. “These look nice…” he mumbled seeing one of the mannequins at the fourth one. He entered inside ready to ask for a saleswoman’s help when with the corner of his eye noticed a familiar figure a few meters away. He gasped. It was _him_. Again. Why did he have to fall onto him all the time? He gulped. His neighbor was in front of the mirror while trying some new clothes. Masaki felt his throat getting dry. The dark greyish pair of jeans accentuated Jun’s legs beautifully while the red knit-jacket he was wearing on top along with the black shirt was making his skin whiter, creating a good balance with his black hair.

 

“This red burgundy jacket is as if made for you, sir,” were the saleswoman’s comments to Jun and Masaki couldn’t agree any less… because it really was.

 

“Everything looks as if made for him…” Masaki mumbled still mesmerized by the view. At some point, though, he realized that he had been standing in the middle of a shop staring like a creep. He didn’t want to be caught. Immediately turned around and left ignoring the “how can I help you” question that the young woman kept repeating. He bought an espresso to clear up his mind and focus on buying the clothes he had come at that mall for.

 

He entered another shop dedicated to men’s fashion and hurried to the first saleswoman he saw.

 

“How can I help you, sir?” she asked politely.

 

Masaki took a breath. “I need something… simple and… kind of sexy?” Maybe it was a bit straightforward but he had no more time to lose.

 

“Follow me. We’ll create the best look for you.”

 

He knew these clothes would cost quite a lot but tonight he was playing all for all. The clothes had just to follow the same path.

 

After several matches, he came out of the dressing room wearing an as-skinny-as-needed pair of black dress trousers. It was similar yet unlike every pair of trousers he had to go to work. _It looks as if it’s custom… ized…?_ He wondered if he could use this word, but definitely, these trousers had a certain class. On top he was wearing a black shirt that felt as if it embraced his upper body like a second skin. It was soft and comfy, not that he could expect something less from a shirt that cost almost 20.000 yen. When he went to stand in front of the mirror, he realized that he looked… good.

 

“I knew the total black look would be the best. It accentuates the best way your slim figure and gives the impression of being even taller. If you want to make it a bit more stylish you can add this vest,” the saleswoman said as she gave him a black vest with a satin feel at the back. “It upgrades it giving off a note of sophistication,” she continued as she helped him to put it on. “I’m sure she’ll be left astonished!”

 

Masaki looked at his idol in the mirror and had to agree. He did look better like that. Nothing too much but definitely different from all the suits he used to wear at work or his comfy pullovers and sporting clothes he used to wear in his everyday life. These clothes accentuated his tall and skinny figure. The only thing he hoped was that this look worked for men the same way the saleswoman hinted for women… a specific man in particular.

 

“Could… uhm… could you tell me the total amount for this look?”

 

“Of course. It’s…” she had taken the calculator in hand pressing the numbers fast. “65.000 yen. The vest is on special sale of 10%.”

 

Masaki gulped. Indeed, these clothes were expensive… maybe too expensive for his wallet. He looked at himself once again. They were expensive but they made him look good… really good. He had to admit that.

 

“Ok… I… will buy them.”

 

“You did a great investment, today. I can assure you. You’ll be able to mix and match them however you want for other… special occasions!”

 

Masaki gave a little smile. _I hope so…_

 

\---

 

Masaki sighed as he threw a quick glance at the bag he was carrying. Was it a wise choice to spend such a large amount of his monthly salary? Maybe not but when it came to love matters how could someone make wise choices?

 

He had never felt like this before. There was something about Matsumoto Jun’s aura that was attracting him… He wanted to try… In the past he hadn’t tried like this… But this was Tokyo, a new start for him. He was very nervous and still couldn’t come to do anything forward but at least, he’d make sure the other would receive the message. Masaki was determined to throw the ball into his court and let his neighbor play the way he wanted.

 

All this time, the other man was sending him confused messages. Sometimes, he’d get the feeling he was really interested and others, he’d be cold… almost typical. Masaki usually could read people, yet this Matsumoto Jun was a unique case; hot and cold in the same time and that frustrated him.

 

With these thoughts wandering in his mind, he reached home. He placed the bottle of sake carefully on the table close to the door and lined up his new clothes on his sofa to look at them one last time. He had to play it all… High risk… but it was worth it. At least, he’d know whether he had a chance or not.

 

***

 

It was 22:05 when he rang the bell. His heart was already beating unbearably fast. What would the other think of him when he met him? Would he notice? Would he like him in his new clothes? Would he say… something? Anything? At least, throw him a meaningful gaze? Tens of questions had filled up his mind only to be crushed down when he realized that it wasn’t Matsumoto Jun but his friend Nino the one who opened the door. He cleared his throat feeling uncomfortable when he realized the way the smaller man was checking him out from head to toe again and again with a playful smirk right before he let out a teasing whistle. Masaki’s mind may play with him but he was almost sure the other knew how much effort he had put into this look and the reason behind it. He tried to smile but was sure it came out weirdly, the least.

 

“Well, well, well… Look who’s here!”

 

Masaki knew the words were spoken in a bit too loud voice than necessary, most probably to gain Jun’s attention. The thought alone made his cheeks grow redder than necessary. He was still standing outside, as Nino’s body was blocking him from entering, leaning against the doorframe, his hands folded in front of his chest. The small figured man made no effort to move aside… as if he wanted Masaki to stay at his spot…

 

Masaki gulped when he saw Jun entering in the living room with a tray full of small bites of food in his hand. He couldn’t tell what it was but little did it matter. His eyes were locked on Jun who was dressed in those damn clothes he had seen him earlier that day wearing in the shop. From this close, he looked even sexier. He felt his mouth drying up… again. It seemed to be happening quite often when he met the other man, destabilizing him. To his pleasant surprise though the other seemed to have frozen in a similar way. Masaki noticed how Jun’s mouth was left half open as he roamed his eyes all over him. He could tell and that made his heart jump funnily in his chest. Maybe all that money he had spent was worth it after all.

 

After several seconds, that seemed like an eternity to Masaki, the other left the tray on the table that was a few centimeters away and walked towards him. “Welcome.”

 

Masaki managed to smile. His cheeks felt as if set on fire and they probably looked like it but tried to ignore it. He’d only make things worse. “Thank you for inviting me.” He was hoping the other would say something… anything… but no word came out of his mouth… a nerve-breaking silence filling up the air. Masaki could almost hear his heart that was thumping in his chest ready to jump out.

 

“It’s about time that Satoshi will arrive… This is supposed to be a surprise party, shouldn’t we close the door?”

 

Masaki frowned for a second before he realized it was the other friend of Jun who had spoken.

 

“Ah! Yes. You’re right, Sho,” Jun replied throwing a quick glance to his friend over his shoulder before he made a small nod at Masaki “Come.”

 

Masaki did, as asked, with a little frown. Why would the other not look him in the eye while saying the last word?

 

“We also need to turn the lights off!” Jun commented as he hurried to move away from Masaki’s side… At least, that’s what Masaki felt… He lowered his head and sighed disappointed. If the other didn’t want to spend a single second close to him then why had he called him to this party? It didn’t make any sense…

 

“Many things are not what they seem to be…” Suddenly someone whispered close to his ear. Masaki frowned. _Nino…_ “And a small piece of advice… Stop overthinking… Sometimes it’s simpler than you may fear…” He was staring at Jun as Nino told him the last phrases. He was moving around the room purposelessly, rearranging the pillows of his sofa again and again. seemed rather… nervous… He turned to his left just to see the small figured man smiling at him with his signature, from what it seemed, smirk right before a quick wink.

 

_Maybe he’s right… Maybe I’m overthinking…_

Ten minutes later, the door bell rang. Ohno Satoshi had arrived. The minute the surprise was over, Nino had thrown his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, not losing a minute to pull the latter close to him and lead him to a passionate kiss. Masaki cleared his throat suddenly feeling awkward. He heard sighs realizing it was Sho and Jun. They didn’t seem surprised from the couple’s… effusive… behavior.

 

Masaki tried not to pay attention but a part of him felt jealous of them. They seemed genuinely in love and not afraid to show it. That alone was impressive and in its own way admirable.

 

“Happy birthday, my teddy bear! I love you!” Nino whispered on Satoshi’s lips in the most serious and sweetest tone Masaki had ever heard him speak. He could tell Nino truly meant these words. His lips curved in a shy smile just to be faded away, followed by sigh… Deep inside, he wanted to hear these words, too… and by a specific someone… He turned around to find this someone, surprised to find him staring at him with an unreadable gaze. Their eyes remained locked only for a couple of seconds. As soon as Jun realized Masaki had caught him stare, he turned it towards the couple.

 

“Anyone interested in having a drink?”

 

“Yes!” Both Nino and Satoshi exclaimed happily, joining Jun to the table that had turned into a mini bar, their hands intertwined.

_Maybe I’m overthinking…_ Masaki reminded himself and tried to remain optimistic but the more time passed by the more disappointed he felt. He also took a glace of wine and followed the rest of the men to the sofa. He sat at the corner, not feeling comfortable to go and sit next to Jun. The latter if he wanted, he could have come himself but he had chosen to sit next to Satoshi. Sho had made an effort and made some chit-chat with him but soon the conversation had more and more inside jokes… Masaki could tell it wasn’t done on purpose. Sho was not speaking much; it seemed alcohol was making him feel sleepy. Ohno Satoshi on the other hand kept talking about a certain fish he had caught the last time he went fishing and Nino never lost a chance to tease him, rolled up as he was on him, his thumb caressing his boyfriend’s palm. Jun seemed pretty interested in his friend’s story… and the hours went on.

 

Masaki felt out of place. The other would avoid him. He would be the furthest possible away from him. He would not talk to him. He wouldn’t even throw a single glance at him. Masaki’s grip on the glass he was holding tightened. Was there a reason for him to be there? He had thought there was… The previous day he had thought so… a few moments earlier when he saw the way Jun was staring at him had also thought so… but now, he didn’t. He went to the table to fill up his glass for the fourth time. He wasn’t a heavy drinker but this time, he needed it.

 

After what it seemed an eternity, the time for the cake came. Once it was over and everyone wished Ohno Satoshi happy birthday, he would finally be free to leave. He was standing a little behind the group of four, watching them as they sang ‘Happy birthday to you’. Yes… It was obvious that he had no place in that apartment. He wasn’t overthinking all this time… For the past few weeks, his imagination was playing tricks on him.

_Sometimes we think something happens because we want it this much… Hope dies last… Well, now, I can tell…_

 

He felt hot tears threatening to fill up his eyes but blinked them away. He had no right to ruin the party… not because he had thought he had a chance. It was him the one imagining things, and he was alone the one at fault. He looked at the glass of wine in his hand and drank it in one go.

 

As Jun went back to the kitchen to cut it into slices, he left his empty glass on the table and went to Ohno. It was his chance to escape from there without coming across the man who had been torturing his mind all this time.

 

He tried his best to smile. “Happy Birthday, Ohno-san. I wish you the best. I… I’ll be going, now,” and with that turned around to leave. He had made a couple of steps towards the door when he felt a grip around his left wrist. Frowning he turned his head over his shoulder to see no one else but Matsumoto Jun.

 

“You didn’t have any cake…”

 

Masaki let out a muffled laugh… or was it a short sob? “I don’t like cake… It’s ok…” Masaki whispered, trying desperately to keep his voice steady… the steadiest he could at his state.

 

“Ok… don’t have cake… but… why are you leaving? I mean-”

 

Was the other kidding him? Or was he enjoying this? There was no way he hadn’t realized how he felt… “The real question must be why I should stay!” The words came out louder than he expected and certainly accusing. He felt anger crawling inside him and the alcohol that was running through his veins wasn’t helping much. He kept staring deeply into Jun’s eyes without noticing how the entire room had frozen. Masaki was breathing fast and heavily. “I don’t know anymore… You invited me to come to this party. I mention it… you’ve forgotten…” The tears were coming back with more force than before, making it more difficult for Masaki to hold them back. “You… confuse me… You and your hot and cold treatment. You always make me believe… things… and then… somehow you take them away… Are you enjoying this so much? Do you like seeing me like this?”

 

“No… I…”

 

“You’ve been driving me crazy, you-”

 

“You, too…” the other cut him off.

 

The two words reached Masaki’s ears like a whisper, making him frown even more. “Wh… what?”

 

Behind him, somewhere, a door opening and closing can be heard, but he doesn’t pay attention. He couldn’t when he could feel Jun’s hot breath landing so close to his lips. When had the other come to stand this close to him?

 

“You’re driving me crazy, too…” the words were spoken again… this time in a lower voice, more certain and in the same time heavier…, taking Masaki’s breath away. He was left astonished.

 

Masaki’s breath turned heavier. Could it be that he’s fantasizing things again? “But you avoid me…” he whispered as his eyes fell on the plump lips he craved to feel against his.

 

“It’s you the one who’s been making me behave like that… and I hate it. I hate myself for it but being close to you… it… makes me unable to control myself…” Masaki was too mesmerized to notice how Jun’s eyes had become hazed, focused as they were on his parted lips. “It’s your fault… It’s you…”

 

The last words came out in a trembling whisper right before in a fast, determined move he was grabbed by his waist, pulled up to the other with force, their bodies attached to one another before he felt something hot and wet against his lips, claiming them hungrily. He could only moan… Was Matsumoto Jun kissing him for real?

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

Jun’s gaze was locked on the window, his eyes wandering on the few people that were walking down the street this early οn a Sunday morning, as he brought his mug of coffee to his mouth. Such moments, he kind of wished he smoked. Maybe it would help him keep his calm. He had hoped the caffeine he so much needed every morning could help him but after an hour he could tell there was no use. He still felt too hot. He was sweating. There’s no way it was the weather. Not that it was bad but late November wasn’t exactly the definition of hot temperatures. All of this was due to his nervousness and he knew it well. He had tried to keep questions such as ‘What do I really want?’ ‘What happens next?’ ‘Where do I stand?’ away but they always seemed to come back and fill his mind causing him to clench his grip on the mug, to sweat even more. “Damn…” he cursed under his breath before he shoved the cup of coffee into his sink and headed to the bathroom. Two minutes later, he was taking another shower. The third in a few hours.

 

With his towel secured around his waist he entered in his bedroom, the shutters still down. He opened his closet carefully not to make too much noise, this time settling for an old pair of jeans and a T-shirt. The sweater and sweatpants he had been wearing proved not the smartest choice in his current state. He was tempted not to look but the curiosity in him was stronger. He threw a glance to his bed over his shoulder, a sigh escaping from his part-opened lips. It was hard to take in the view, he was seeing, but no matter how many times he had blinked it was remaining the same… it was still making him gulp, his throat feeling dry. With a light shake of his head, he returned his attention to his task. _Clothes!_ , he reminded to himself. That was why he was there. He opened the drawer and picked one of his black briefs and without looking again, he hurried back to the bathroom.

 

He hadn’t imagined things would turn like that. He couldn’t put a name on what exactly he had imagined the outcome of this party would be but he could swear it wasn’t that; not the man, he had been craving for, and therefore avoiding at all cost, having stayed after the party. Still being there. Sleeping. In his bed. Naked.

 

He had liked the other from the first time their gazes had met. All of this time had been a real torture for him. He had always been a one-night stand kind of man. Screwing? Fucking? Finding mutual carnal pleasure? It didn’t matter the label somebody would put on it. The most important part of the whole deal was that it required no emotional attachment which automatically meant no feelings hurt. And he was good with how things worked. He had priorities in his life. He had decided upon that. He had his job. Dance was the only thing he was committed to, he was breathing for. He didn’t need a person.

 

Yet, since that man appeared in his life, he couldn’t stop thinking about him. Was it his cute smile? The honesty he could trace in his eyes? Maybe a combination of everything or simply him as a whole. He just knew that Aiba Masaki made his heart jump funnily in his chest and he hated it because this man represented everything, he hated. He had decided that he hated it a long time ago. But it wasn’t his neighbor who was at fault. It was only him which was why he tried to avoid him. Because his body reacted in a certain way that contradicted his mind.

 

Jun closed his eyes, a big frown on his forehead. He had failed. He chuckled. How could he not? Primal instincts are as strong as the survival ones; impossible to control.

 

The truth was that Jun was taken by surprise when his neighbor said all those things… but mostly he was taken by surprise because of the pain and the desperation he could trace on every word spoken. It had been what made him snap. He did what he had been denying to himself all this time; feel him; take a first taste of him; he had kissed him… but that wasn’t what took things out of control. It was the fact that not only didn’t the other push him away like he (half-assed) hoped, but returned the kiss with the same if not even bigger intensity. It was all it took him to lose it completely. Jun sighed. It had felt so damn good… probably the best… touching him, kissing him, feeling him hot and open to surrender to him and his needs, to everything Jun was willing to take. He closed his eyes as vivid images of last night flashed through his mind, his skin suddenly being too sensitive. He could still feel it… _him_ …

 

\---

_Before the other had a chance to react, Jun’s lips were attached to the ones he had been fantasizing over, feeling them hotter in reality. He didn’t lose time. He demanded everything the other could offer him at that moment. He took the lower lip between his teeth, sucking on it while the tip of his tongue was asking for permission to enter. He could smile triumphantly feeling his neighbor’s body shiver as a result of his ministrations. It felt so damn good… He continued teasing the other and lost as he was in the sensations, it took him a few seconds to realize that the other had already opened his mouth for him, allowing him to explore it to its depths as he wished, returning the kiss with the same intensity. Jun’s mind was fogged… he moaned in the kiss as he deepened it not caring if it turned too sloppy, if teeth crushed against one another, if there was too much saliva. What he knew was that to him this kiss tasted like the water for someone stranded in the desert for days. It was addictive… He just couldn’t get enough._

_Feeling Masaki’s arms around his neck, in an attempt to bring their bodies even closer, if possible, in search of friction, made him in return needier. The other seemed to be equally insatiable, and probably thanks to the alcohol, daring enough to show it. Jun’s body felt as if in flames, desperate to feel the hotness, the one attached to him was emitting. He kept moving his mouth sensually against Masaki, exploring him to the deepest corner, as if they were dancing under the most intense rhythm. Jun tilted his head to deepen it the most he could whole he pressed his lower front on Masaki, making their crotches meet, a move that made the latter moan in his mouth._

_Arousal was slowly building up in Jun, with every second becoming more and more intense. Somewhere in his daze, he realized the other was equally aroused, his hardness pocking his inner thigh. Jun let out a low groan as he tore his lips off Masaki’s to move lower to the crook of his neck. The other had his hands locked into his hair, other times grabbing it forcefully, other times massaging it softly. Jun let his hot breath fall on the soft skin, his lips almost touching it. He felt the need to tease the other, to bring him to his limits. He was not kissing him, certainly not sucking his sensitive, if he judged correctly by the desperate way Masaki’s hands clawed on his red sweater, spot. He didn’t move not even when Masaki tilted his head upwards and to the side to give him enough space to devour him the way the latter wished. And then he heard him… that almost pleading, breathy tone._

_“Jun…”_

_Masaki had said it and Jun could only comply. He rained him with hot, wet kisses everywhere his lips could reach, followed by the tip of his tongue and by teeth in turns, marking the white skin in a way that left the other breathless. Jun could tell Masaki’s mouth was agape, in a desperate need for air, his back arched in a bow, his hands always lost in his hair so that he didn’t fall and he was loving it._

_“J… Jun…” was all the other could whisper in his state._

_Hearing his name coming out from those lips, sounding like a moan, made Jun seek for more. He teased Masaki’s earlobe with his teeth, while his lower part moved forward on its own. The first couple of thrusts didn’t push his neighbor away, on the contrary, they were met half way… the other was mirroring him… they were both lost in ecstasy._

_Jun wanted to scream when the other moved a couple of steps away; at first because of the sudden lack of touch but seconds later because of the unexpected, but definitely pleasant, surprise. His eyes followed Masaki’s hands moving lower on himself, trying blindly to find the shirt buttons. Once they did, they started undoing them one by one until the cream-like torso was slowly being revealed to him. Jun could only gasp. Was the other giving him a private show? For real?_

_He could only hush and watch. The other might not be a dancer but he had rhythm ‘and some smooth moves…’ Jun thought smirking, his tongue brushing his lower lip. The more flesh the other was revealing to him, the more he wanted to feel it; that hot flesh that was hiding underneath was calling him to feel it against his skin. Jun saw the shirt falling on the floor right before the other moved his hand to his trousers’ button and zipper. In a blink of the eye, the pair of trousers was thrown to the floor along with the rest of his clothes. Masaki was now standing almost entirely naked in front of him… naked and aroused… Masaki couldn’t hide… not when he was standing hard in front of him. Jun’s gaze, burning, was locked on that specific area… he wanted to taste the other so much and was sure when their eyes met that his neighbor could read his dark thoughts._

_Jun knew there was no more time to lose. His hands found his own clothes just to be stopped. He was left astonished when this time it was Masaki the one who smiling claimed the other man’s lips once again, his hands doing the job for Jun. In a blink of the eye, Masaki’s hands had found the waist of the greyish jeans that._

_“This has tortured me enough today…” was what he muttered on Jun’s lips once he broke the kiss and looked into Jun’s darkened-from-lust eyes._

_Feeling Masaki’s gaze moving lower where his member hard and already licking was suffocated in his black D &G briefs, made him moan in despair. This man would always surprise him. He was staring at him as if it was the most fascinating thing, he had ever casted a look upon in his whole life. Jun let out a low groan when he saw the other bite his lower lip right before he moved his hand on top of his erection, slowly, excruciatingly slowly, just to feel it pulsate under his teasing touch. The other kept brushing it a couple of times before he looked back at Jun and with a smirk took the same hand and brushed his lips. Since when was Aiba Masaki a teaser? _

_He didn’t know who the man in front of him was at the moment but didn’t care to think much about it either. What he knew was that he was tired of not taking what he truly wished for. He could see the other’s burning gaze being locked on his crotch… like that tongue of his that was brushing his lower lip, as if it was preparing it to taste something. Jun had to bite his own lower lip not to moan at the thought of having it around his hard erection. He then felt this very same fingers tracing a droplet of sweat that was running down his temples, before bringing it to his lips… he opened them… tasting his own sweat on Masaki’s fingers._

_Their eyes met. Their mouths were only mere centimeters apart._

_“I want you,” the other whispered on Jun’s parted lips. Jun held his breath. It wasn’t a simple statement. It was an order, spoken loud and clear. “And I want you, now.”_

 

_Jun couldn’t help moaning the moment he heard those words. He hadn’t expected the other to be this bold but it was most welcomed._

_“Your wish, my command,” he whispered in a raspy voice in Masaki’s ear as he grabbed him by his hand leading him with any further delay to his bedroom. The moment they entered the room he kicked the door close before he threw the other on the mattress. Seeing the subject of his wildest dreams on his bed naked, on his back, waiting for him was almost enough to bring him over the edge._

_He could detect the dark gaze on Masaki’s flushed face… He was seduction impersonated. Now, he was sure. Without breaking the eye-contact, he pulled down his briefs revealing his hard erection that was standing up proud. He didn’t miss the half-muffled whine that escaped from the back of the other’s throat, the moment he saw it. Jun was already licking as he came closer climbing on top of Masaki, straddling him with his legs. He smiled mischievously when the latter arched his back trying to gain the slightest friction._

_“How much do you want it?” Jun asked huskily, his lips teasing the left erected nipple, sending shivers down his soon-to-be lover’s spine._

_“Please…” the other whispered._

_Jun could feel the need behind that please and realized he didn’t have to torture any of them any longer. He had seen Masaki’s body in the gym but it felt as if he was doing something, he shouldn’t. This… the same body was in front of him but in the same time it was different. This time, he could smell it, taste it, feel it, had the chance to make it writhe in pleasure… make it his. He allowed his hands to travel all over the thin yet firm torso. He could feel the little trembles his touch was causing to Masaki and that made him eager for more trembles… more gasps… more moans…_

_He leaned in, his mouth finding the hot and sweaty skin. He could taste traces of cologne mixed with the other’s scent, slightly salty and virile from the arousal. He sucked, licked, kissed, bit anywhere he could reach. He was insatiable. He wanted to taste every single piece of him. He moved south, coming inch by inch closer to the licking erection. He licked his lips before he moved his eyes upwards, wanting to catch the other’s attention. He smirked when he saw that Masaki’s hazed eyes were locked on him, his mouth opening wider to let out a shaky whine the moment the tip of Jun’s tongue teased the heavy hardness from the base to its tip in an excruciating slowness. Jun threw him a playful wink before he took him all in his mouth. The games were over. He wanted to make the other yell, spasm because of the intensity of the sensations he was causing. He worked with everything he could, mouth and hands and in less than a couple of minutes later, Masaki was trembling, his toes curled, and moaning breathily his name as orgasm hit him hard._

_Jun didn’t leave him a chance to breathe normally. He entered him in one fluid moment after the quick preparation he had done while going down on him. He felt Masaki wrapping his legs around his waist, his hands mirroring them around his neck. He leaned closer. His eyes roamed on Masaki’s face. The skin was covered in sweat, his cheeks crimson red and his eyes, still fogged from the pleasure he had just experienced, locked on him, as if searching to see what his were hiding. It was then that struck Jun how truly beautiful the other was… not that he hadn’t known… but the realization was different… because Masaki had never looked more beautiful than that moment, underneath him, holding him close, while their bodies were connected… His heart was beating faster than ever, feeling like it would jump out of his chest in any minute._

_“Are you ok?” Jun asked tenderly, his right hand tucking a covered-in-sweat tuft behind Masaki’s ear._

_After the latter’s small nod, Jun started moving, slowly in the beginning not wishing to hurt his new lover. Once he felt, there was no trace of frown written on Masaki’s forehead, he sent his hips deeper in faster and more powerful thrusts. Soon, his body had taken control, moving on its own, chasing down the bliss it so desperately sought after._

_“Jun… ah… mo… more…” Jun heard Masaki moaning and could only do as asked._

_He brought his hands around Masaki’s waist, pulling him up in one move, until the latter was sitting on his lap, Jun still buried deep inside him. He felt the need to hold him closer._

_“Masaki…” he growled before his mouth found the crook of his neck while his right hand went between them, closing around his lover’s cock that once again had hardened up. Jun gasped when Masaki threw his head backwards, his mouth agape. They were close._

_Soon, the moves turned uncoordinated, their bodies trembling from the intensity until they both screamed each other’s name. Jun felt the orgasm tearing his body apart, ejaculating hard in the condom deep inside the other. He was panting crazily. Once the intensity fell down, his body felt as if turned into jelly. He was unable to move. He couldn’t remember a single time that he had felt something that could compare to this. It was as if he was set on fire; its flames reaching every single nerve in his body, hitting him till the core. He didn’t know what to say… Hell, he didn’t know if he could say anything at all. The only thing he could do was to look at the other who was staring back at him with a tired but satisfied smile on his face. He was pulled in a kiss. This time, soft, full of emotions. Jun could tell…_

_They lied down on the bed. Jun was still trying to ease his fast heartbeat, his eyes locked on the ceiling, looking at some blind spot. They hadn’t really talked, yet they had slept together… and it was extraordinary… pure magic. How should he behave? His mind was overflowed with questions. He turned to his side, his lips curving into a smile when he realized that Masaki had already fallen asleep. He rested his weight on his elbow, as his hand brushed his lover’s hair._

_‘You’re so beautiful…’ he thought as he pressed, feather-like, his lips on Masaki’s forehead._

_They had to talk… that was certain… but it had to wait… at least for the moment…_

\---

 

Jun was afraid. It wasn’t that he regretted it. In any way. But he had felt the need to sleep by his side, to hold him protectively within his arms, he wanted to wake up by his side, snuggle with him, but in the same time hadn’t dared to. Mostly because of himself. He had never dared to do again anything this intimate. Sex was intimate physically; Snuggles and hugs were intimate emotionally… He could not lie to himself. Last night what they did was not only having sex, it was making love, no matter how cliché it may sound. But despite that… Could he really be this close to the other? What if it proved to be the wrong thing? Could he follow that path?

 

Lost as he was in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the soft steps behind him, nor the presence of the one that had been occupying his mind in the living room, watching him closely for quite a few minutes now.

 

“Did you regret it?”

 

The words reached Jun’s ears abruptly, making him gasp. He turned around and saw Masaki standing a few meters away, his naked body half-covered under his creased sheet. It was obvious that the other was nervous. Jun could see how he kept his fingers busy with the sheet, his eyes avoiding him.

 

He came closer, until he was standing right in front of him. “Honestly? No.”

 

He frowned when he saw the other’s reaction; surprise and confusion mixed-up together. It was obvious that it wasn’t the answer Masaki had been waiting.

 

“And if I ask you the same question?”

 

“J… Jun… I-” Masaki tried to answer when Jun raised his hand.

 

“If… I told you this was a one-time thing? Because I’m not the type to have relationships?” Jun took a deep breath before he met Masaki’s gaze. “Then, would you regret passing this night with me? Tell me. Honestly. Would you regret it?”

 

He felt a comb at his throat when he saw the hope turn into confusion before a flash of pain pass through Masaki’s eyes. The other had lowered his head. Jun was sure the other would turn and leave but didn’t. And what’s more, there was another surprise in line for him. He couldn’t help gasping when his neighbor denied it with his head.

 

“But it would hurt you?”

 

Masaki gulped as he raised his gaze to meet Jun’s. “It would. I’m not going to lie. But even like that, I don’t regret it. I knew I was taking a chance… even in my drunkenness… I knew it and decided to take a risk. For once in my life, I decided to dare… Now, I can tell why you were showing those confusing signals. You like me but not enough to make you change your-”

 

“It wasn’t a one-night stand for me.” Jun cut him off, surprising them both. “The same way it wasn’t simply sex,” he whispered, lowering his head. “My bedroom is my most private place; therefore, sacred for me. No one has ever slept in these sheets. No one but me… and now… you. I kept staring at you, you know… You were so beautiful and I realized I wanted to snuggle with you, to be there, hold you in my arms… you made me want something I had decided I didn’t need.”

 

“I-”

 

“I don’t say that I’m ok with it. I mean I’m… afraid…confused with this… _us_ … but also cannot ignore the fact that I can’t run away from it.” Jun took a deep breath. “What do you say you take a quick shower and then come to the kitchen? I’ll prepare us breakfast and then… maybe, we can talk… and see… I don’t-”

 

It was now Masaki’s turn to cut Jun off. “It’s ok. I’ll go and grab my clothes and-”

 

“I meant in my bathroom.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Jun came closer and wrapped his arms around Masaki’s waist. “You slept in my bed. Whoever sleeps in my bed, takes a bath in my bathroom.” Jun smirked seeing Masaki’s cheeks flush a bit. “Don’t be shy now. Last night, you were nothing but shy…” he whispered on his new lover’s lips. “I’ll be waiting.”

 

“Ok,” Masaki whispered back.

 

He could only smile when he saw Masaki’s slim silhouette disappearing towards the bedroom. A few minutes later, Jun had put some butter on the frying pan and was chopping the fresh onion for the omelet, he was about to prepare, when he heard the water falling. Strangely, he wasn’t feeling sweaty or hot anymore. As the realization hit him, his smile turned even wider. Maybe there wasn’t a reason for him to worry this much…

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

“Damn it!” Masaki cursed under his breath when he realized he hadn’t asked for a towel beforehand. He was standing in the shower booth wet and naked not knowing what to do. He slid the door open just to find a black bathrobe. Jun’s bathrobe. There was no way he would wear it… It was too much. First of all, the other might not want to. It wasn’t unusual for people not to be keen on sharing their bathrobes or towels even if they had slept together. That was the case of his former boyfriend. And secondly, that would mean a lot and Masaki wasn’t so sure if they were ready for a third acknowledge in sequence.

 

“That’s… quite the view, I must say…”

 

Jun’s voice drafted him abruptly away from his thoughts, his eyes goggling when he noticed that the shower door was still open and he was standing stark naked in front of the other who was resting his body against the door, not ashamed to take him in from head to toe with such intensity as if he was trying to memorize every inch of his body. Shyness filled Masaki, suddenly feeling too exposed, and hurried to slide the door back close allowing its fogged surface to cover his nakedness. His ears caught the hint of a chuckle. Was Jun enjoying this? He was frowning when the other opened the shower door, his hand immediately finding Masaki’s chin pulling it up so that their gazes could meet.

 

“Why so shy now, Masaki? Yesterday, you were so forward… You put on a show for me… a _great_ show actually…” Jun’s voice turned lower, more seductive as he pronounced the last words. “I was mesmerized by your boldness. You demanded my attention and you had it. Besides… I _have_ seen you naked…” his hands moved on the crook of Masaki’s neck trailing down the dark spots he had left there a few hours ago. “It’s my mouth that has left those marks on you… It’s me who has tasted all of you…” Masaki gulped, his cheeks burning. “So, why are you this shy right now?”

 

“It’s just that… I don’t know… I have never been… like… well that… and… I don’t… don’t know where… we’re standing-”

 

“We’re standing in my bathroom. You naked… and so deliciously seductive… which makes it a crucial point.” Jun leaned closer, his hot breath landing on Masaki’s ear causing him to tremble and not because he remained naked and wet. “Believe me, Masaki… If I stay here another minute, you won’t be asking me questions. You will be trying to hold onto the tiles, your mind incapable of making any rational thoughts… The only thing that will come to your mouth will be my name… in that low and needy tone that I loved so much last night…” He moved backwards a teasing smile on his lips. “But I won’t…” his voice turned back into its normal tone. “As much as I want it… We still need to talk.”

 

Masaki gulped again. Jun knew no personal space and this closeness had already its effect. “Jun…” The name was spoken in a much more trembling voice than he wished.

 

“I thought you’d need a clean towel,” the other said as he headed to the small cupboard there was at the other side of the bathroom. He took out a purple towel and came back, unfolding it and throwing it carefully around Masaki’s shoulders. “I have chosen some clean clothes and a brand-new pair of briefs for you. You can find them in my bedroom.”

 

“But-”

 

Jun hushed him with a tender kiss on the tip of his nose. “I’ll be waiting for you in the kitchen. Breakfast is ready.”

 

Masaki managed to give a small nod. He only let out a deep sigh when the bathroom door closed leaving him alone. It felt as if he was able to breathe again. He dried himself hurriedly and was about to get out of the bathroom when he caught with the corner of his eye his idol in the mirror. The previous night’s outcome was way different from what he had first hoped for. He also knew well that he held an equal portion of responsibility for this outcome but he didn’t regret it. He had been honest before, when Jun had asked him. His face was flushed, his torso had several dark spots that made his heartbeat rise at the thought of them being _his marks_ but his eyes reflected a liveness he hadn’t seen in a while. He felt sore but in the same time relaxed; worried and in the same time enthusiastic.

 

Ten minutes later, he was entering in the kitchen. The other had his back on him, apparently oblivious of his presence. The scent of freshly cooked omelet and bacon was intense, causing his stomach to gurgle.

 

“Someone’s hungry!”

 

“I didn’t eat much yesterday.”

 

Jun turned around, his lips curved into a teasing smirk. “And yet you committed yourself to activities that burn high amounts of calories!” Masaki’s stomach gurgled again causing Jun to chuckle. “Well, at least, I’m happy to know that I’m responsible for the loss of those calories!”

 

“Jun!”

 

“What’s with that face? It was _you_ the one who made me insatiable…! It’s not my fault!”

 

Masaki hid his face in his hands. He wasn’t a prude but certainly wasn’t the man he had become yesterday. “Hey…” Masaki felt a shudder down his spine when he realized the other was standing close, a bit too close he realized when he felt Jun’s hot breath falling on his ear. “Sorry, I like to tease you! You look too cute when you’re embarrassed! But I can see behind these flushed cheeks of yours… I know you’re secretly enjoying this!”

 

Masaki’s heart was thumping in his chest. He could swear this time his ears had joined his cheeks in redness. He heard a soft chuckle. “Alright! I stop!” A light peck landed on his left cheek. “Now, we better eat before everything turns cold!”

 

Masaki nodded, his lips curving into a shy smile. The other was unexpectedly sweet… more than he could have dared to imagine. When he had found him looking so skeptical this morning, he was sure that he’d ask him to leave. Yet not only wasn’t he sent home but was also continuously teased by the other.

 

They started eating in a comfortable silence that gave off vibes of a couple that had been together for a long time. He threw a glance at Jun who was at the moment drinking his coffee.

 

“What?”

 

“No- nothing…” Masaki hurried to drink some of his to avoid to answer. His voice betraying his sudden uneasiness.

 

“Did I push it too much asking you to stay for breakfast? I thought-”

 

“No! It’s… not that…” Masaki cleared his throat awkwardly. “It’s just that I thought it was…”

 

“Cozy? Between us, I mean.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Masaki was surprised to see the other smiling widely. “Never expected either but it’s somehow reassuring.”

 

“Reassuring?”

 

“For me,” Jun whispered in an almost inaudible voice.

 

“Oh… yeah…” Masaki lowered his head, a small frown appearing on his forehead. Jun had told him that he wasn’t the relationship kind of guy. He had told him that they needed to talk. Maybe it was him that was pushing things, even if he did it without really wanting to. His heart skipped a beat when he felt Jun’s hand cupping his.

 

“Don’t overthink. Just eat and then we’ll talk. Ok?”

 

“Yes…” Masaki replied, his head still hanging low.

 

“Masaki? Look at me…”

 

When Masaki finally did so was met with a warm smile. “We’re standing on the same ground. This… now… is quite a proof of that… I just need to be honest with you. You deserve it and I need it. I need you to know. _We_ need it in order to make this work.”

 

“I understand, Jun,” Masaki whispered in reply. He meant it.

 

“So, what on a rank of five how much do you rate my breakfast skills?”

 

Masaki blinked with surprise. He could tell the other was trying to lighten the atmosphere up. “Five.”

 

“Flatterer!”

 

“No,” Masaki insisted in a calm tone. “Simply honest.”

 

Jun leaned closer, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. “And my bed skills? How much do you rate _them_?”

 

Masaki took a deep breath, deciding to play along. He had noticed how awkward the previous minutes had been and didn’t want that. “Out of five?” he asked, his gaze locked on Jun. The other gave only a nod, his lips curved in a smirk. “Hmm… I don’t know… Maybe… Three?”

 

“What?!”

 

Masaki smirked back. “I was quite drunk. I can’t rate objectively unless I’m completely sober.”

 

Jun had narrowed his eyes before he let out a loud short laugh. “You’re learning how to play the game I see…!”

 

“I’m a quick learner! And I have the best teacher! He’s been giving me private lessons since I woke up this morning!”

 

Masaki said nothing when Jun, once they finished breakfast, refilled his cup with coffee and silently followed him to the living room. He sat on the sofa waiting for the other to speak. He could feel his heartbeat rising dangerously fast. Now, it was when the masks would fall and the truth would be unveiled. Certainly, he was someone who wanted to know where he was standing, someone who was always in doubt, afraid of rejection but had to calm down. He had taken the risk and so far, everything was great. The other was only sending positive vibes. He hadn’t thrown him away, had offered him his bathroom and clothes, kept teasing him, even been sweet at times. Maybe he had nothing to worry about.

 

“Masaki, may I speak first?” Jun asked in the most serious tone, Masaki had ever heard.

 

“Of course, Jun. I’m listening.”

 

He saw from the corner of his eye the other sitting across him on an armchair, his eyes avoiding to meet him.

 

“Well… The truth is that I like you. A lot. From the first time we met in the elevator. I was taken away from your looks. What took me by surprise was the fact that you’re oblivious of them. I mean… ok… you may recognize that you are handsome but that you’re killer sexy?! I doubt it. I could see it in your eyes. But you were wearing a suit. That was a blow for me… I had made a promise to myself. Never fall for a white collar.”

 

Masaki frowned. “Did… someone betray you? Hurt you?”

 

Jun sipped some of his coffee, not answering for a few seconds, as if he was debating with himself whether he should reply or not. “Yes,” he finally admitted with his head hanging low, his eyes on his lap. “I’ve never revealed that… not even to my friends… perhaps not even to myself; at least, out loud. But yes.”

 

“It’s ok… You don’t have to-”

 

“I owe you an explanation after I’ve treated you like a jerk.”

 

“Jun, please, you don’t-” Masaki never had the chance to finish his words.

 

“It happened a long time ago,” Jun cut him off.  “I was practically a kid. Even if I was eighteen. He was the first guy I fell for… He was older, around twenty-six. I believed in him and gave him everything. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first time. I felt I could conquer the world. A little after we were together, I started preparing intensively for the National Dance Academy. Till then, I hadn’t told him I was a dancer, neither that my goal was to become a pro. He’d never asked me.” A bitter chuckle was heard. “Yes! I was _that_ naïve! Anyway, I had no money so I needed their scholarship. But that meant hours and hours of practice… so less time for dates… or more correctly call dates… The final blow came when I asked him to come to my audition. He limited himself to a text explaining that he had no time for stupid dreamers when he was trying to earn money with a real job. When I called him back to ask him why he was saying such things, he more or less accused me that I had chosen a direction not something much different from a whore…”

 

“WHAT?!” Masaki couldn’t believe his ears.

 

“It was my fault… I was too deep in him to see he was nothing more than a scumbag… Anyway, his words… discriminating his ‘world’ from mine, in other words, calling myself and my life choices as wrong and low made me angry. His rejection made me angry… I was young and-”

 

Masaki hurried to reassure him. “I can understand why you reacted like that. I’d probably have the same way, as well.”

 

Jun chose not to comment on that and continued. “Since then, I swore to never be in a relationship. Not because of the others, but because of myself. I didn’t want to experience something like that. I felt… used… and that hurt. It almost cost me my scholarship. I had been too lost in my thoughts, too unfocused for many months after our break-up. So, I decided to never fall for a guy who has his life in certain boxes… who follows a daily program… whose world would be that different from mine, because he could never understand me. I decided to focus on my biggest love; dance… and have fun… one-night stands have been my thing ever since. No obligations; no feelings; above all, no hurt. But then… when you appeared in front of my door with that fluffy sweater to offer me that sweet… I just couldn’t get you out of my head. I tried to but failed. Miserably. I had a constant fight in me. My mind vs my heart. I tried to ignore it but then, I’d see you, even if it was for mere seconds and you would take my breath away. It was the reason I was behaving like a total shit to you.”

 

Masaki lowered his head not knowing what to say at the moment. He could distinguish the guilt in Jun’s voice and didn’t like it.

 

“And then… I saw you at the gym.”

 

Masaki looked up at Jun surprised. “You… did?”

 

Jun bit his lower lip, more guilt on his face. “I did… And I kept staring…” He cleared his throat. “I tried to convince myself it was only physical… lust… but then, we went jogging. I felt guilty when I saw you panting. I felt my cheeks grow hotter when you gave me to drink the rest of the water. When we came back and mentioned the party, my heart skipped a beat when you told me with that mesmerizing smile of yours that you looked forward to it. I found myself going for shopping. For you. I wanted to look good for you. When you appeared in front of my door, I swear I almost dropped the food I was caring. But I was still stuck in that stupid battle of mine… and you made weak. It was the reason why I was avoiding you, last night. When you accused me of being a jerk, it crushed my heart. I couldn’t deny it anymore.”

 

“I’ve fallen in love with you, Aiba Masaki. Probably, from the first time my eyes fell on you. Feeling you, your body was nothing like the short moments of release I felt with my previous… night escapades. I brought you to my bed. I wanted you to be in my sheets. I liked the way you looked there. It didn’t bring the uneasiness I feared of. On the contrary, it made me smile… just the image of you sleeping in my bed, made me smile… Seeing you in my clothes, right now,” for the first time since he had started talking, Jun looked at Masaki. “it makes me smile. Preparing breakfast for you, it did make me smile, damn it!”

 

“Jun…”

 

“I’m afraid… a part of me is… It’s been too long I had that mindset. But I’m willing to try… because it’s been a while I’ve smiled. I’ve never been that at ease with anyone. I’m not even a morning person… yet with you… I wanted to tease you… to make you blush… to… simply be with you… despite the fact that you have to go to work every morning and wear a suit.”

 

“Jun…”

 

“Have I sounded too childish for you? Nino says I am for… preferring one-night stands…”

 

Masaki placed the cup on the small table in front of him and walked till the armchair. He knelt on the floor right in front of Jun, his hands cupping the dancer’s cheeks. “No. You didn’t. No one has the right to judge someone because he feels a certain way. Something that is important to me, might be of no importance for someone else and vice versa. What I appreciate is your honesty. My one and only ex wasn’t someone who was really into me. We didn’t match. I wanted other things and he wanted other. I’m quite insecure as a person… more on the passive side rather than the energetic one. What you saw yesterday wasn’t the typical me. But for once, I thought to give it a try, you know. To claim what I want for a change. Even if you sent me away today, I still wouldn’t regret it. I may have hurt but not regret it.”

 

“I-”

 

Masaki pressed his fingers on Jun’s lips hushing him. “I wanted you. I could tell something was troubling you, so I had accepted all possible scenarios. And then you didn’t send me away… and I felt that between us it was easy… perhaps too easy… as if we’ve known each other for a long time. When we were having breakfast earlier… It was what made me thoughtful for a moment. But above all, I knew I could trust you. You would be honest with me. And that, Jun, is the basis of a relationship no matter its type.”

 

Masaki was brought up onto Jun’s lap, smiling when he felt Jun’s arms securing around his waist.

 

“So, you agree that we try?”

 

Masaki nodded as he brought his hands around Jun’s neck. “I do, Jun. I want to try with you.”

 

“That means you’re my boyfriend, now, Mr. Aiba Masaki?”

 

“If you want me, Mr. Matsumoto Jun, I’d be happy to!”

 

Instead of an answer, Jun claimed Masaki’s lips leading him into a passionate yet meaningful kiss. It felt different from all the others they had shared during the night because this one held no worries, no questions and doubts. They broke it when they suddenly heard something similar to someone clearing their throat. To their surprise, in front of them there was Nino standing a few meters away with a smirk on his face.

 

“So, I guess, you lovebirds, finally worked things out?!”

 

Masaki was about to move but Jun’s grip tightened around his waist forbidding him from moving away.

 

“One. What are you doing here? And two. How the hell did you enter in my apartment?”

 

“Forgot that you gave me your second keys to make preparations for the party, you lover boy? And as for why I’m here, my Oh-chan forgot to take his phone last night. We had to leave in a hurry… You surpassed even _my_ expectations!” Nino winked and flashed the two men a wide smile.

 

“Nino. You better take the fucking phone and get the hell out of my apartment. Oh! And before you open the door, do me a favor and leave the keys on the kitchen table. You have ten seconds!”

 

“Ok, ok. Got the message!”

 

In less than a minute, Nino was out of the picture leaving them once again alone. Masaki had still his gaze on the door when he felt Jun’s breath close to his ear.

 

“So, now that we’re alone what do you say we have a re-evaluation?” Masaki had to bite his lower lip to muffle a moan when he felt the tip of his ear being nibbled by his boyfriend.

 

“What… do you mean?” Masaki asked in a trembling voice, even if he knew what Jun was hinting.

 

“My boyfriend said something about having been a little drunk to have a clear image…  I need to know how much his rank is.”

 

“Right… now?”

 

Masaki was made to meet Jun’s darkened-from-lust gaze. “I wasn’t lying in the bathroom earlier…”

 

“Jun…”

 

“And once we have that evaluation, we can have a shower, each one in his proper apartment-”

 

“In our proper apartments?”

 

“Yes, Masaki. So that we can meet for lunch. I want to take you out. If you take a shower here, you won’t be on your own, you won’t be able to take that shower and we won’t be able to leave.”

 

“Oh…” Masaki was out of breath. Jun was forward… It was as if he was now at the receiving side of boldness and he could admit it; he liked it.

 

“So?”

 

Masaki chose to answer the way Jun had done earlier. By kissing him the way he died for; hungrily. In a blink of the eye, he was brought up in the air and seconds later, thrown back on Jun’s bed, in the middle of the unmade sheets. When his boyfriend’s mouth came to find the older marks on the crook of his neck, Masaki closed his eyes and abandoned himself completely.

 

Jun had been right. They had to give it a try. Those sensations he was feeling at that moment were the proof that it was worth it.

 


End file.
